Another mother expressed her feelings when told that her six-year-old son had suddenly died because of a congenital heart problem. “I went through a series of reactions—numbness, disbelief, guilt, and anger toward my husband and the doctor for not realizing how serious his condition was.”
Anger can be another symptom of grief. It may be anger at doctors and nurses, feeling that they should have done more in caring for the deceased. Or it may be anger at friends and relatives who, it seems, say or do the wrong thing. Some get angry at the departed one for neglecting his health. Stella recalls: “I remember being angry with my husband because I knew it could have been different. He had been very sick, but he had ignored the doctors’ warnings.” And sometimes there is anger at the departed one because of the burdens that his or her death brings upon the survivor.
Some feel guilty because of anger—that is, they may condemn themselves because they feel angry. Others blame themselves for their loved one’s death. “He wouldn’t have died,” they convince themselves, “if only I had made him go to the doctor sooner” or “made him see another doctor” or “made him take better care of his health.” A mother remembers holding her child
The loss of a child is a terrible trauma—genuine sympathy and empathy can help the parents
For others the guilt goes beyond that, especially if their loved one died suddenly, unexpectedly. They start recalling the times when they had become angry at the departed one or had argued with him. Or they may feel that they were not really all that they should have been to the deceased.
The long grieving process of many mothers supports what many experts say, that the loss of a child leaves a permanent gap in the life of the parents, particularly the mother. When You Lose a Spouse
The loss of a marriage partner is another kind of trauma, especially if both led a very active life together. It can mean the end of a whole life-style that they shared, of travel, work, entertainment, and interdependence.
ReplyDeleteAnother mother expressed her feelings when told that her six-year-old son had suddenly died because of a congenital heart problem. “I went through a series of reactions—numbness, disbelief, guilt, and anger toward my husband and the doctor for not realizing how serious his condition was.”
Anger can be another symptom of grief. It may be anger at doctors and nurses, feeling that they should have done more in caring for the deceased. Or it may be anger at friends and relatives who, it seems, say or do the wrong thing. Some get angry at the departed one for neglecting his health. Stella recalls: “I remember being angry with my husband because I knew it could have been different. He had been very sick, but he had ignored the doctors’ warnings.” And sometimes there is anger at the departed one because of the burdens that his or her death brings upon the survivor.
Some feel guilty because of anger—that is, they may condemn themselves because they feel angry. Others blame themselves for their loved one’s death. “He wouldn’t have died,” they convince themselves, “if only I had made him go to the doctor sooner” or “made him see another doctor” or “made him take better care of his health.”
A mother remembers holding her child
The loss of a child is a terrible trauma—genuine sympathy and empathy can help the parents
For others the guilt goes beyond that, especially if their loved one died suddenly, unexpectedly. They start recalling the times when they had become angry at the departed one or had argued with him. Or they may feel that they were not really all that they should have been to the deceased.
The long grieving process of many mothers supports what many experts say, that the loss of a child leaves a permanent gap in the life of the parents, particularly the mother.
When You Lose a Spouse
The loss of a marriage partner is another kind of trauma, especially if both led a very active life together. It can mean the end of a whole life-style that they shared, of travel, work, entertainment, and interdependence.